Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A Break In The Action

I am not going to be posting for the next several weeks. I'll be working for the Milwaukee Bucks during the NBA Playoffs so there will be no posts from me until the season ends. The other bloggers can post at their own leisure and topics may get off the mantle of sports.

Thank you for your endless support and we look forward to seeing you in the future.

The best of everything,
Nick

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Realizations

Take Me Out To The Slow Lane

It’s April in America, which must mean one thing. Yep, sports highlights all over the country are about to get extremely boring and repetitive. It’s baseball season, AGAIN. At the risk of alienating myself from my fellow columnists more than I already have, (I still don’t see the problem with urinating on a public street during the day) I must let my thoughts be known.

Baseball is not sophisticated, it is not exciting and just because I don’t enjoy it, doesn’t mean I “don’t get it”. I don’t like Chinese food, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get it. I don’t have many friends who would claim baseball as their favorite sport. I suppose that could be true for a number of reasons, but mainly because I favor those who are not drawing social security or who don’t have to rely on Depends whenever leaving the house. My closest friends who do claim baseball as their favorite sport are without a doubt, Cubs fans. This is not a coincidence. It gives me an advantage in their lives. There is nothing I could ever do to disappoint them.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy attending a baseball game every now and then. Any place that will bring me a beer without me having to actually exert any energy or wait in any sort of line is a good place to me. No, my main problem with baseball is the people that run it and the fans who think that because they know what a double-switch is, it somehow makes them intellectually superior to the rest of the universe. The fans who recite batting averages and team era like it validates the fact that their sport requires a “stretching session” just to make sure that the people in the ballpark are still awake.

Bud Selig? Really? Could he have done a worse job? Please do not feed me this nonsense about how he has become an innovator for the sport. Bud did not create the Wild Card. Last I heard, playing copy-cat to the NFL does not qualify you as some sort of creative genius.

The All-star game now dictates which league has home field advantage in the World Series. What a complete joke. A game Bud once upon a time let end in a tie, now virtually punishes a team who could realistically have the best record in baseball. But, I digress.

Baseball is boring. Baseball is slow. Baseball does not have as much strategy as purists would like non-purists to believe. I refuse to be fascinated by the fact that with two outs and a full count, the runners will be put in motion. Wow, I can’t wrap my brain around that. They have less to lose than my grandma playing penny slots on Fremont Street.

I must let the cat out of the bag and admit that I was not born and raised in a city or state that has a professional baseball team. Perhaps this has a lot to do with my lack of interest. I was not force-fed baseball as a kid. I played little league like everyone else, but was not anywhere near the level of CTB with the sunflower seed chewing or the mom schmoozing. I made a few trips a year to visit my Aunt and Uncle in Akron, Ohio. Enough to call myself an Indians fan from visiting Jacob’s Field. I don’t recall the new corporate name of the ballpark… remember, those people are losers.

Baseball fans, I’m okay with you as long as you keep from trying to explain yourself. Bring yourself back down to earth. You are not what you once were, but there is nothing wrong with that… just as long as you don’t pretend that you are. Enjoy your sport. I salute you, as long as you leave me alone.

Monday, April 13, 2009

AMusings

I know that I wait 6 months every year for baseball season to make its grand return. It then takes approximately 24 hours for me to hate everyone associated with the sport. Fans, players, reporters, fans, coaches, fans, owners, umpires, fans, etc. Just within this first week of baseball I have seen and heard the following things that have lead me to believe that either the baseball gods hate me, or that everyone who is involved in the great American pastime possesses an IQ below 10:

- An ESPN segment on the “biggest surprises so far”. This took place on Friday morning. Most teams had played 3 games. 3 games. How surprising can you be with 159 games left to go? More so, doesn’t Tim Kurkijan have anything else to do than tell me what he’s surprised about after one series of baseball?

- A caller call in to a radio show here in Chicago telling the hosts that he hopes “the Cubs can just win 2 out of every 3 games this season”. For those of you who may not have your abacuses nearby, that would be a final record of 108-54. Isn’t that a little unrealistic? If you’re rooting for your team to win 108 games, why not just root for 162-0? If every team had the ability to win 108 games every year, why have only two teams done it in the last ten years?

- When Jim Thome hit the game winning home run on Tuesday for the White Sox, I saw no less than 6 facebook statuses that read something like “haha Cubs, White Sox win” or “White Sox win, I hope the Cubs lose”. Listen, I’m a Cubs fan, but I don’t care what the Sox do. Why would you, as a “fan” of a certain team, care what another team does? I don’t know if this is something that only goes on in the windy city, but I will never understand it.

- Several people either on the radio, on the internet, or in person tell me that Kevin Gregg is no good as a Cubs closer after blowing the save Friday in Milwaukee. He has blown one save. One. Anyone looking at the National League central is probably picking the Cubs to win, and not by a close margin either. One blown save will not amount to a problem. Give him time. How much time? Maybe more than a week.

Here’s all I’m trying to say to you baseball fans out there; baseball season is 6 months long. Every team has the opportunity of playing 162 games. This is not football. 1 loss does not make a difference. Every game is not the end of the world. Please, if you have any sense of decency or the ability to think, start thinking about what you’re saying before you say it. I know everyone is excited about the game returning, but relax. You’ll never make to October if you’re having heart attacks in April.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Friday Night Lights

A Cold Day in Minnesota


Ahhh, birds chirping, sun shining, days getting longer, young love in the air, local bookmakers avoiding the IRS and its April 15th henchmen. Springtime is here, which means that baseball season is upon us. By us, of course, I mean residents of the West Coast, the Sun Belt, and south Florida. While baseball season may have arrived in the Midwest and Northeast, baseball weather is a couple weeks away.

Teams like Milwaukee and Toronto with the foresight to put roofs on their modern-day cold-weather cathedrals should be commended. The Cubs can be forgiven – retractable roofs weren’t exactly en vogue at the turn of the century. Less sympathy should be extended to the Indians, who were outplayed in their chilly, and fairly new, outdoor venue by a scrappy Marlins squad of mercenaries who took the World Series title home to Miami about a decade ago.

But what advice do you give to a team in a colder climate than all of the above, a team that plays under a Teflon roof and is currently constructing a new open-air stadium sans cover?

Well, you address the Minnesota Twins with, “typical.” Or “standard,” depending on your choice of vocabulary.

The 2009 season is the last campaign of domed goodness in Minnesota. In 2010, the club will relocate a mile down 5th Avenue in downtown Minneapolis to Target Field, a new stadium built almost adjacent to Target Center, and yes, right down the street from Target’s headquarters. In an ironic twist of fate, both the baseball team and the mega-corporation have encouraged their customers to “Expect More” while “Pay(ing) Less”.

Fans “expect more” of a game-day atmosphere in June, July and August with the new palace, an edifice which is at least fifteen years in the making. Unfortunately, former owner (and formerly alive) Carl Pohlad decided to “pay less” and let taxpayers shoulder the majority of the bill for construction of his ballpark. Excesses were removed and sacrifices were made in constructing this downtown diamond, which will have no roof, retractable or otherwise. The stadium is being erected on the smallest site in Major League Baseball (smaller than Fenway or Wrigley) – there simply isn’t enough space for the roof to be added.

At this point, it’s probably time to start examining the tradeoffs we make in order to have baseball in the heart of the city. Minnesota is a cold, cold place – I’ve seen snow in May – but climate trends make for dreary, cool Aprils. When the weather warms up, massive thunderstorms come along for the ride, and threaten the Heartland until August. September can be the perfect month, until October approaches and Canada gifts us cold air masses.

Basically, we live in a year-long weather nightmare. The short-sightedness of the urban planners and the team in accepting a stadium without a roof will have short-term and long-term repercussions. Games will be rescheduled, then rescheduled, and rescheduled again. Fans will turn out in droves from May 15 to September 15, but two months of home dates will have far fewer fans than would attend competition in a stadium with a roof. The “hearty Midwesterners” the team is banking on are fewer and further between, replaced by transplants from places like Texas and Georgia that will find better things to do in our cosmopolitan metropolis than freeze in a downtown stadium conveniently located next to a regional trash incinerator.

So what do you say to the team? Well, maybe it’s a good thing they haven’t torn down the Metrodome already.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Cousin Bink's Country Beer Jamboree

Volume 1, Issue 8

When I imagine going to a Major League Baseball game I picture the sun shining. I picture having to take out a small business loan to get a few cold refreshments. I picture coming home with a little sunburn on my arms and legs. I plan on witnessing a live chicken being sacrificed so Jobu will let the Cuban hit a curveball.

What I don't enjoy is thinking about going to baseball games where I'll have to decide how many stocking hats I should wear, not whether or not I should wear one. That is what happened this week on Opening Day as two games had to be canceled for a day due to the weather, while many games were played in cold and wet conditions. Let's take a closer look at these games, shall we:

  • Kansas City at Chicago- Game postponed 18 hours before game due to forecasts of snow and freezing temperatures.
  • Tampa Bay at Boston- Postponed for rain.
  • New York (N) at Cincinnati- 37 degrees and light rains throughout.
  • Cleveland at Texas- 49 degrees and sunny
  • New York (A) at Baltimore- 56 degrees with light rain
  • Colorado at Arizona- 80 degrees with roof closed
  • Detroit at Toronto- 66 degrees with roof closed
  • Washington at Florida- 90 degrees and partly cloudy (now that's more like it)
  • Pittsburgh at St. Louis- 42 degrees and cloudy
  • Seattle at Minnesota- 69 degrees, in a dome
  • Oakland at LA Angels- 75 degrees and clear
  • Cubs at Houston- 68 degrees with roof closed
  • LA Dodgers at San Diego- 75 degrees and sunny
So what should major league baseball do?

Push the start of the season back a week? Well, considering that would push the playoffs back a week and the World Series had to be postponed for 2 days this past year that wouldn't work. But looking at the weather for opening day, there is a solution. We'll do this by league, starting with the senior circuit. There are 5 teams in the west, but Colorado's a bit iffy this time of year, so we'll say we have four teams. Houston and Milwaukee have domes, so that makes 6. Moving onto the east where we have Florida, Atlanta, and I guess you'll have to hope for Washington to have some nice weather. That makes 8 teams that should have good weather so for the first 2 weeks have these cities host home games.

Moving to the AL you have the four teams in the AL West. In Minnesota, Tampa and Toronto you have domes and once again we have 7, which is all we need for 14 teams and you can do the same thing, starting the first two weeks in these cities.

Now this is in noway a full-proof plan. I went to a game last year on April 26th that was delayed for 3 hours due to cold weather and a snow/rain mix, but this is just a way to improve Opening Day, not to get rid of delays completely.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Smoke Break

When I first fully immersed myself in baseball, the biggest concern was getting a good number for your Little League jersey. I wore jersey number 9. Now the number 9, as in a 9 p.m. start for west coast games upsets my sleep schedule for the rest of the week.

It’s funny how your perception of a certain sport changes over time.
Growing up, the Oakland Athletics were the lead villains in the theatre of the diamond. Mark McGwire and Jose Canseco were the sluggers getting big on the same workout routine, prayer sessions and Flintstone Vitamins that Hulk Hogan used to create his chiseled frame.

Now I know Canseco and McGwire were injecting some of those Flintstones Vitamins into their Bedrocks. The vitamins might have helped them Bam-Bam the ball, but those injections also shrunk their Barney Rubbles.

Pudge was a nickname given to a great all-around catcher. The man behind the plate had a rocket for an arm (don’t confuse that with Jay Buhner) and one with a direct line to the baseball gods. How else could anyone wave a homerun ball into fair territory?

Given the nickname “Pudge” as a twenty-something baseball fan and you should probably take more swings in the batting cage and less Sliders in the dugout.

Randy Johnson has been “The Big Unit,” throughout my entire life. In intermediate school he was an intimidating, dominating pitcher whose greatest asset was his fastball, followed by his presence on the mound.

He still remains an intimidating pitcher, but now I realize he won’t have to go on the card show circuit when he retires. Royalties from the use of his nickname in adult movies will make him a rich man for a long time.

Slump busters…well slump busters still mean the same thing.

Chris Berman was this neat big man who cleverly mixed “Three Stooges” sound effects in when anyone would bobble a ball in the infield. How fun it was to see this red-faced man, busting with excitement and high cholesterol work into a fervor and yell, “Back, back bac, bac bac, back,” as someone hit a homerun.

Now Chris Berman is the obnoxious big man who refused to leave the ESPN Never Land of the mid 1990’s and still uses the same folksy catchphrases. I later learned his face is not red from excitement over McLemore, Mark but Maker’s Mark. Leather, you’re still with him.

The Ryan Express explained the dominance of Mr. Nolan, the greatest strikeout pitchers of all-time.

Today, I venture to guess that Mrs. Ryan was undoubtedly late even if she jumped on the Ryan Express at the right time.

Even amidst shifting perceptions of baseball, there are some things that still hold true after all these years. John Kruk is fat, Vin Scully is the best voice of the game and Ron Santo chooses to ignore the importance of paying attention. It hasn’t changed my love affair with the game. It’s always good to see an old friend.

Welcome back baseball.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Realizations

One Shining Moment


There are three things that make me openly cry whenever I watch them on TV. The first being the final episode of Saved By The Bell when Zack must participate in the Bayside Ballet in order to obtain his final credit for graduation. Hugging Mr. Belding at the end and thanking all of his friends, it touches my soul. The second thing that makes me cry every time I watch it is when I see Mufasa get trampled by the stampede of wilderbeast in the Lion King. Forcing poor baby Simba to take on his evil uncle Scar all by himself… tragic. The third and final thing that makes me cry every time I watch it is taking place tonight (last night for you readers). One Shining Moment. The anthem of college basketball. Every year at the conclusion of the tournament, CBS puts together a highlight reel from tournament and sets it to the music of One Shining Moment. Written by David Barrett and performed by such artists as Teddy Pendergrass and Luther Vandross, the song One Shining Moment symbolizes everything that is good and right about sports.

The song debuted in 1987, the year Keith Smart was left open on the baseline and the Hoosiers added banner number five to the rafters of Assembly Hall. Ever since then it has been the staple of the NCAA Tournament. Clips of kids diving for loose balls, sulking in agony after being defeated at the buzzer and celebrating with incredible joy after pulling off an epic upset. Every kid openly admits to wanting to be in that video.

The majority of the athletes that have competed in this tournament and all of the tournaments in the past do not go on to become professionals. There are no shoe contracts, no commercials and no V.I.P. treatment at local restaurants and clubs. This is their one moment to be a part of history. This is their One Shining Moment.

College sports will forever be my favorite over anything professional. The reason is quite simple. Every time I watch college athletics I am reminded why sports became such a big part of my life in the first place. Kids giving everything they have for one reason, the pure love of the game they play. Representing their schools and showcasing them to entire nation. One Shining Moment gets it. It is a snapshot of everything great about sports and competition. No one is mailing it in because they just inked their big contract or because they want to secure their spot at the top of next year’s draft lottery.

Maybe I’m getting older, losing some of my energy or maybe I’m just now realizing that when it comes down to it, I am not a big fan of people. Whatever the case may be, the fact remains that I am losing interest in the logistics of sports, the business side and everything negative that comes with it. Some people take pride in being able recite contract figures, who has what agent and the correct corporate names of stadiums and arenas around the country. I call those people losers.

This year more than ever I am going to let the song sink in as I watch the highlights. I am in denial that almost every player in college athletics is younger than me. Sam Young could get the senior citizen discount at my local golf course if he showed up for a tee time. But, it is this same reflection that is forcing me to take a much more enjoyable approach to my sports watching.

Make it pure. Make it fun. Work your butt off on the court and on the field. May the best team win and shake hands after it’s over. Show emotion and passion. I am not naïve enough to think that the business of sports is not important. Money must exchange hands in anything successful. But, for four minutes every year I will allow myself the pleasure of getting back to the basics. Getting back to the love of the game and the love of sports. It makes me feel like I’m alive…