COUSIN BINK'S COUNTRY BEER JAMBOREE

Volume 1, Issue 1

Spring Is in the Air

I absolutely hate February. It’s cold, even with global warming making it 66 last week, it’s usually cold, school is in full swing, and the sport landscape is horribly bare. Now, I know plenty of people can argue that there’s a lot of great NBA and college basketball action, and I’m sure they are quite exciting to people, but I haven’t cared about the NBA since I grew out of my Toni Kukoc jersey in 2000. As for college basketball I’m sure there’s some very exciting games to watch, but I really can’t get interested in the season until the conference tournaments start.

Outside of round ball you have the NHL, NASCAR, and the PGA in February. Oh and the always competitive NFL Pro-Bowl. And I know the Super Bowl is in February the past few years, but I still consider that more of January event that happens to fall in February. It’s usually colder in January but at least then you have the NFL Playoffs, and much more importantly my birthday. I’m trying to get into hockey and watch Black Hawk games, but even hardcore NHL fans see this time of the NHL season as the dog days of winter. NASCAR is not my cup of tea, never has been, never will be, although I do enjoy the occasional time that the drivers get out of their cars and threaten each other, and think that should become a requirement for races. And the PGA? To be honest I didn’t even know that had started but saw a commercial for a golf tournament this coming weekend. I can only care about the four grand slams and even then I’m only watching half-way through Sunday. I’d much rather go out with John Daly, then watch John Daly golf.

The only thing that holds my interest in February is the start of baseball spring training. Of course spring training usually gives as good a barometer of a team’s chances as an NFL Pre-Season. Perhaps even more so this year, with Bud Selig’s Abortion (also known as the World Baseball Classic, although his whole commissionership is really an abortion, but that’s another article for another time) taking away players from their teams camps and making them play for some false idea of “national pride.” I don’t care about what America does in this stupid thing, the only thing that matters to me is that John Danks will not waste his arm in some random game against the Netherlands, hopefully saving him for important games in September.

But alas, I am not here to condemn the WBC. I am here to offer a word of hope and spring. There are professional baseball players and they are practicing and gearing up for their regular season. Now granted, gearing up for their regular season probably means shooting up with the newest untraceable steroids, but they are gearing up nonetheless. Yes, spring is in the air, unfortunately the groundhog said it’s about four weeks ago, but by my count it’s about 46 days off. Truly an American pastime returns.

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Well that’s the first article, and now a bit about me. I’m Ryan Everett, but you can all call me Bink, a nickname given to me as a 4 year old by my Uncle Ray. I was born and raised and still live on the Southside of Chicago I’m 23, live at home, work two jobs that pay $11 an hour and am a constant disappointment to my parents. I recently graduated from Illinois State with a degree in Interdisciplinary Studies, Human and Education Services in the Special Education Sequence, which basically means you’re not good enough to be a Special Ed teacher, but you took a lot of classes so here’s a degree. I work two jobs, one as a teacher’s assistant at a Special Ed school and then in the afternoon/night I work as a Special Recreation Leader at Marquette Park. So yes I spend all day with the mentally handicapped and if my writing shows that I apologize. I consider going out to a bar in sweatpants and an old wrestling shirt to be in good taste and for this reason have not had much luck with the ladies, but at least I’m totally comfortable with myself and my looks, even if others are not.

As you may have been able to tell by my article I love the NFL, but my true passion when it comes to sports would be baseball and specifically the Chicago White Sox. I follow the NBA well enough to be able to engage in conversations about it, but I won’t start a conversation about it, and don’t expect a lot of articles about it. Same goes for college basketball. So you maybe wondering why you should read, especially if you like basketball. Well, for one thing I only write once a week, so it won’t take that much time. I mean I know how hard it is trying to kill time and when you’ve got nothing better to do maybe you can come here, Celebrate the Temporary (see what I did there), and I’ll give you something to think about for 34 seconds before you go back to the porn, or that addictive mini-golf game. I look forward to comments, questions, stalker threats, and Craigslist postings for science fiction erotica paintings.