Realizations - Brad Ton

Mulligans

How many times have you been in this position? Your entire round of golf you have been following a group of guys who think that every bad shot means they must pull another ball out of their pocket and try again. Meanwhile, you’re stuck back in the fairway with enough time on your hands that you wish you had Rodney Dangerfield’s golf bag so you could at least watch a little television or pour a nice cold one from the tap.

I used to despise those that made a mockery of the game of golf by taking mulligans. But why? Why is it that we are looked poorly upon for do-overs? Should we not all be allowed an occasional redo?

When it comes to our favorite sports teams, this idea of not being able to change our minds gets magnified even more. We must be “true” and “loyal” fans. Even if the team we grew up loving completely changes it’s identity.

Well, I am here today to say something I never thought I would say. I want a mulligan! I grew up a Dallas Cowboys fan. My early years were easy as the early to mid 90’s brought winning, hall-of-famers and Super Bowls. I even cheered (or cried) and watched every game during the Quincy Carter, Chad Hutchinson and let’s not forget the Vinny Testaverde years. But right now I have had it. There is loyalty but then there is also stupidity. I can take losing. I can take underachieving. I can take thirteen probowlers equating to a first round loss. But, I cannot take this.

We all know about the Pacman Jones fiasco, so there is no need for me to get into all of that. I like to consider myself a realist. I don’t look up to athletes. I don’t idolize them and they are not my role models (except of course Tom Brady… I’d love to be hated by everyone and go home to a supermodel). I really don’t care what the players of my favorite teams do in their spare time off the field or floor. No, my biggest problem with this team is the owner, Jerry Jones. This stubborn attitude that when the square peg doesn’t fit into the round hole, we don’t get the round peg… no no, we push the square peg harder trying to force it until something eventually breaks (like a pinkie finger). Stability wins in the NFL. If the Pittsburgh Steelers are the girl you take home to mom, then the Dallas Cowboys are the stripper you met on a night you’d like to forget.

What is wrong with just being a sports fan? Why must we have that one team we root for? As I get older (and considerably less stable) I am finding that I would rather watch any team play as long as it is a good game. I like stars, I like drama, and I like a story line. I don’t like the idea that I am stuck with a particular team when everything I once enjoyed about them has vanished. When the team I like loses, it doesn’t ruin my weekend. I don’t have to unplug the television to avoid catching any highlights of that dropped pass (or snap). I don’t refuse to answer the phone call from a gloating friend.

I am not as diehard about sports as I used to be, but I enjoy them more than I ever have. So, take your mulligan… take three or four. I’ll be behind you sitting in the grass pouring another cold one and patiently waiting for my chance to hit one into the woods so I can pull another ball out of my pocket and try again.

Now to tell you a little bit about myself. I was born and raised in the great state of Indiana and I have all of my teeth. Contrary to popular belief we do not all drive red pick up trucks and listen to John Mellencamp. I am a strong believer that heart and work ethic are overrated qualities. The more talented team wins. Tony Dungy never coached the Colts, Peyton Manning did and always will until retirement.

I have a tattoo of the Michael Jordan Jumpman logo on my arm for two reasons. One, the obvious, there would be endless war and the Earth would cease to exist were it not for him being the greatest athlete of all time. Secondly, I have a cross tattooed on my right arm and Jesus felt left out so I had to add God to the other side.

I love arguing about sports even if I don’t agree with what I’m saying. I don’t pretend to know anything about baseball so you won’t catch me writing about it (unless of course Kenny Lofton makes a comeback). You should read my column because doesn’t every group need a redhead? I mean really, if you think you can match my perspective you are sadly mistaken. I look forward to your comments, concerns and anything that I can add to the front of my refrigerator.

Brad