Smoke Break

College basketball should be Corzine (Dave, DePaul director of basketball operations) through your veins right now. If not, we’ll get a Bishop (Rashad, forward, Cincinnati) a Pope (Herb, forward, Seton Hall) or Shaman (Craig, DePaul assistant director of basketball operations) to perform their own unique exorcism, guaranteed to cause nary an ounce of Payne (Cameron, guard, West Virginia). Why you won’t even need Gause (Paul, guard, Seton Hall).

Why all the Goode (George, guard, Louisville) Will (Scott, guard, Louisville) you ask? What’s the particular reason for the penned Kissel(s) (Stan, Syracuse director of basketball operations) and Huggins (Bob, West Virginia head coach)? Well it’s Big East Tournament time! Call me a basketball Sapp (Jessie, guard, Georgetown), but people from Paris (Horne, guard, Louisville) to the farthest outreaches of the West (Jonnie, guard, West Virginia) have to be excited.

Hope Bloom(s) (Matt, Rutgers basketball operations coordinator) anew for teams thought to be in Dyer (Rutgers, strength and conditioning coach) situations. Take DePaul. Blue Demon fans shuffled Rosario (Mike, guard, Rutgers) beads and Cross(ed) (Oswald, St. John’s administrative assistant) their fingers in hopes of being victorious in one Duell (Matt, guard, St. John’s) before the season’s close.

Oh dear Jesus (Verdejo, guard, South Florida)! The basketball gods had finally tossed some sunshine and Flowers (John, forward, West Virginia) to the tiny little school under the El tracks. The Blue Demons were King (Taylor, forward, Villanova) if only for a day. It was a collective Bird (Johnnie, guard, Connecticut) flipped at Cincinnati. The Bearcat’s NCAA Tournament hopes all Tucker(ed) (Dar, forward, DePaul) out. What long Summers (Dajuan, forward Georgetown) for coach Mick and the rest of his Cronins (Cincinnati head basketball coach).

But Thabeet (Hasheem, center, Connecticut) goes on. A certain Buzz (Williams, Marquette head coach) exists about the conference this year that could be heard in either a sound-proof Boothe (Malik, guard, St. John’s) or underwater Chambers (Patrick, Villanova associate head coach).

Pitt seems like the Wright (Jay, Villanova head coach) choice for a deep tournament run. After all, one of their post players weighs a Singleton (Billy, St. John’s director of basketball operations) and could easily drop anyone on the floor with a bump from his Heine (Connor, forward, Providence). However, consistent outside shooting remains the fly, or to be more precise, the Hornat (Alex, forward, Connecticut) in their ointment.

UConn might very well be the ones cutting down the nylon, or maybe it's Cashmere (Wright, forward, Cincinnati) come Saturday night, but consistent injuries to their star point guard lead some to believe he might need to be fitted for a customized Walker (Will, guard, DePaul).

Louisville has the number one seed, playing opposite the 15 other teams who serve as the Hunter (Georgetown assistant head coach). Don’t think they’ll get off Scott (Eric, Louisville director of basketball operations) free. An early loss in the tournament could Pierce (Jeff, Villanova head athletic trainer) their psyche come the following weekend.

Marquette has a new point guard driving their Carr (Jim, Rutgers assistant coach) since Dominic James’ injury ended his career as a Player (Dermon, Seton Hall assistant coach). Whatever the case, their short bench leaves them far from Fine (Bernie, Syracuse associate head coach).

With a Field(s) (Levance, guard, Pitt) as deep as this it is difficult to Keon (Lawrence, guard, Seton Hall) one team as a favorite. Peoples (Jonathan, forward, Notre Dame) of all ages will find something to excite them. Why this tournament could even raise Lazarus (Sims, Syracuse coordinator of player development/assistant strength and conditioning coach) from the dead.

All Rhodes (Roderick, Seton Hall administrative assistant) lead to Detroit. If your team ends up there, best to bring your Gatling (Darnell, guard, Seton Hall) gun.